We all have compromised for someone ,or on something.I have compromised,and it ain’t something am so proud of but well,,,it is what it is.
Have you ever been in a situation whereas most of your friends are not,,or don’t find it,,”interesting to be in”?.In this ,you are single and your buddies are allegedly dating.
I have a scenario or two. One,most of your buddies are dating and you single,,,not because you don’t have admirers ,you actually do but they don’t satisfy your qualifications if that’s actually a thing.
Probably, your friends have always been your go-to 24/7. But,each time you call on them ,they would be with their boyfriend or girlfriend or have plans already…so loneliness comes in. You decide to find solace on the next guy or girl that asks you out.
You would have compromised yourself,your priorities and intentions of dating by that. It is totally not a good feeling that you would loudly preach or admit to.
Scenario two is whereby you have self esteem issues. You settle for less because you think that that’s what you deserve.
And sooner if not later,you would lose yourself in the process,,you would suppress your needs as you cater for the other and a result would be an emotional exhaustion.
In a healthy relationship,you would not feel like your values are compromised despite the fact that not all expectations will be met because most of your needs would be met in one way or another.
Ways to stop compromising.
- Stop agreeing to what you don’t want. If you are not okay with how things are done,better speak it out .
- Realise that not getting what you want has nothing to do with you,as in ,its not personal.
- Realise that there is totally nothing wrong with being alone.
- Get used to saying what you desire,,repeatedly if need be.
- Expect more to get more. It is a proven fact that we get what we accept,if we alleviate our desires and go for it..
- Set stricter boundaries,especially if the other is taking part in hurting your esteem,place a boundary on what is,and what’s not okay.
- Stop making excuses and rationalising what you don’t find okay.,you won’t be your best self with him,if you do.
- Make sure their words and actions do align.
- Listen to your friends as they always have a speck of the bitter truth in them.