You may have heard of a narcissism or be dealing with a narcissist without having an idea what that it. Narcissists are everywhere and am actually tired of dealing with them, personally. They are more or else, people with an extremely high esteem on the outside (in most cases, they are insecure and unsure on the inside). They believe they are good in everything yet you are a douchebag, the second part doesn’t sync as such because you are rarely in the picture. Their only weakness is fear of embarrassments.
For a medical diagnosis, the symptoms would be: an excessive for admiration, disregard for other’s feelings, inability to handle criticism and a sense of entitlement. Other characteristics would be grandiose sense of self importance, preoccupation of unlimited success, power, brilliance or beauty, belief that they are special than others, lack of empathy, envy of others or belief that people are envious of them.
With the above official criteria, it would still be hard for a layman to spot a narcissist. For a commoner like me, I wouldn’t be asking if someone has the narcissistic personality disorder, the question in my mind would be whether the treatment am receiving from a relationship is healthy and sustainable in the long run.
This would be a simplified criteria for a narcissist
AT FIRST, they would be charming ASF and love bombing that you would think that you have found the one. You would be convinced that the relationship is worth your while. They would text you consistently and compliment you often. A narcissist believes that they deserve to be with special people only and they would make you really feel special at first. They believe only special people can handle them. But as soon as you do something that disappoints them, they turn on you.in most scenarios, you won’t have an idea of what you have done, primarily because it has nothing to do with them, rather you have messed up with their beliefs. If someone came on too strong at first, be careful. Real love is nurtured, it doesn’t just happen.
THEY HOG CONVERSATIONS, TALKING ABOUT HOW GREAT THEY ARE. They love going on and on about their achievements as it makes them feel more successful and smarter than others.it also helps them create an appearance of being self-assured. I had a friend that couldn’t let me forget of how rich, focused and successful he was.no offence, in case he comes across this article. I understand you can’t help it.
THEY FEED OFF YOUR COMPLIMENTS. They need a lot of praise from you. And if you don’t praise them, they will fish it out of you. They use people to supply their sense of worth, making them feel powerful.as mentioned earlier, they probably have a low self-esteem hence their egos can be slighted easily, thus their need for praises.
THEY LACK EMPATHY, they simply can’t make you feel seen, validating, understood or accepted because they don’t grasp the concept of feelings especially when it involves other people.
THEY DON’T HAVE LONG TERM FRIEND.
THEY PICK ON YOU CONSTANTLY. At first, it would seem like teasing, then it becomes meaner and constant. Everything you wear, eat, do, everyone you hang out with becomes a source of a put down. Their main goal is to lower your esteem to increase their own as it makes them feel powerful. If they knock you down when you do something worth celebrating with something like, “you managed to get promoted because the boss likes you”. Get away, because they just want to make it clear to you that yiu are not better then him.
THEY GAS LIGHT YOU, making you feel like you are not the person you used to be, you feel more anxious and less confident, you begin to question your sensitivity, you apologize often, you make excuses for your partner, you feel you doing everything wrongly, and even question the appropriateness of your response. Basically its somewhat an emotional abuse to make others doubt their superiority in the process adding dry wood to their superiority.
THEY BELIEVE THEY ARE RIGHT ABOUT EVERYTHING AND NEVER APOLOGISE.
THEY PANIC WHEN YOU TRY LEAVING THEM. They will do anything to make you believe they have changed to keep you in their lives. But soon enough you will realise they are just as they were.
AND WHEN YOU SHOW THEM YOU ARE ACTUALLY DONE, THEY WILL LASH OUT and make it their goal to punish you for leaving them. Their ego is severely bruised that it causes them anger and bitterness against you for leaving them.
HOW TO DEAL WITH A NARCISSIST
JUST DON’T.it is actually really draining to deal with one, so if possible, just stay away from them.
KISS UP OR SHUT UP. You would either do as he pleases and kiss up the situation till you can get your ass out of there, because you will always be inferior. If you want to maintain the relationship, you will have to worship their ground, praise and see them as they see themselves. It’s not that hard, if you can submit.
ASK THEM WHAT PEOPLE WOULD THINK. These people don’t feel guilt, only shame. If they believe something would hurt their reputation, they would think twice.
BE DEXTER. If you the narcissist, channel the need the need to look awesome into helping others.
Hope this answers your questions and it was worth a while.